my dearest in the world, the reason you hated hj (and will continue to) is because he is a complete and utter dick in every sense of the word. he ruined my life and if i was any weaker than i am, i would have killed myself by now. im sorry to sound like this, but i just have to say.
last night i finally, at last, broke up with him. we spoke for an hour or two before hand and i got everything out of him that i had been fearing for too long.
he stopped likeing me a while ago. BEFORE he fucked everything up. he thought, i dont care that i am no longer in love with her, ill pretend i am, and fuck up her life completely. i will then still pretend to be in love with her as i slowly and steadily take all hope she had left. ill pretend to still love her, so i can meet up with her in the middle of the night and let her say yes to sex and have no problem with it, even though i dont like her anymore. im only with her now because i can be. i fucked up her life, and didnt even like her for it.
I FUCKING HATE THAT FUCKIING CUNT HE CAN GO FUCKING ROT IN FUCKING HELL I HAVE NEVER HATED ANYONE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!!!
HE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY LED ME ALONG!!!
IF HE HAD BEEN A DECENT PERSON AND TOLD ME WHEN HE FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH ME AND DUMPED ME, I WOULD STILL BE AT GEELONG GRAMMAR!!!!!!!! I WOULD STILL HAVE EVERYTHING!!!!!!
on top of that, when we were talking about monday night (that was the post i was gunna make in IST but never got around to it and never will), he said that he was bored and that if we had sex he would probably start likeing me again! can you fukcing believe that!!!???!?! i FUCKING RUBBED HIS FUCKING COCK FOR LITERALLY FUCKING TWO HOURS WITH HIM PRESSURING ME THE WHOLE TIME TO PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!!! and i was going to. i was going to give him head that night, until he started asking for it, over and over and over. not only that, he wouldnt return anything!! WTF?? he fingered me like twice, not over 30 secs each time, then was like, this is tiring for my hand. and i was like are you fucking kidding me?> how is my hand after all that????/
then we thought it would be a great idea to have sex, remembering that this whole time, he actually doesnt love me, and that he is the biggest dick in the world, but thank god we didnt coz he said was too tired and that sex was too much work for the guy and too good for the girl (he actually said that. WTFF!?!)
I FUCKING HATE HIM!!
i had a mini fuming sesh with lara this morning. she gets it.
coz i loved him, and i was ready to give him ALL my love.
but he didnt love me back, and he was willing to take everything i had anyway. (if it wasnt for his laziness..that actually makes me laugh. his own laziness got in the way of being an even bigger dick..i love lazy people). but seriously!?! he considered it for a good while. he even said "yeah, lets. ive got a condom." then i said "but then again, i have a virginity" and THEN he pulled the yeah im tired card.
he was fullz gunna take it. fuckerrr.
I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH.
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